we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
