So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
