you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
