What a fucking waste of an outfit
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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