Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
