shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
