I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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