Nicole vs. Life
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
