He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
