Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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