4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
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I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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