Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm like, not good at living.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
