I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You are a genius and a whore.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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