i think i have two assholes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
