Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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