Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
