I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
