it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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