Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I am spending my child support on dildos
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
