he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
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The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
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The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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