And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
