Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
