wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My penis needs a shock collar
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
