im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
