I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
They took my balls.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
