Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
