Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
