Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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