Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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