i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
