i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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