Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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