worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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