just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize