My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
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I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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