woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
