areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
