I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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