Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dignity is for republicans.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
