my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize