She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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