lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
