Only a mothe r could love this liver
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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