Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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