I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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