You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
