i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
