that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
