so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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