Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
