I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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