if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
