quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
