why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
