So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
