oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
