I am puke
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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