Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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