Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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