As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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