at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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