where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh god it's open bar.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
