I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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