Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize