she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
