I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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