I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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