You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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